Live Like You Were Dying
K, first off, I am not in some morbid kick. I have not been feeling sick lately, and I REALLY don't plan on dying for a good long time yet, but. . .
I'm sure you've noticed that I changed the music yet again. I still love the other song, and if you liked it better, you can simply scroll down and select any of the four songs listed. In the meantime, let me tell you a little about this song and my life lately.
I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack - For some time now I have really liked this song. It always reminded me of Beck (and all my sisters) because she was the one that was around when I was at that awkward age. She always pushed me out of my comfort zone and "made" me have a good time no matter how awkward and stupid I felt! She didn't push or pull in one direction or the other, but simply supported the current whim - from wanting to be a teacher to my little fling with art! I have always liked this song for these reasons, but just recently when I looked it up on Limewire, I was actually able to hear what the guys were saying in the background and it struck home with where I'm at in life now.
Her backup sings "Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along. Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone." For several weeks now, I have been on a mission to live like/look like/be how I'd want to be remembered.
I don't have to tell any of you about the struggles of overcoming bondage and bitterness in order to live a full and happy life, but I finally feel like I'm making my way on down the road! Most scars never go away, and some wounds take a VERY long time to heal, but I think that bitterness is mostly a choice and I'm not making it!
I guess all this to say that I have finally found my niche to an extent! I'm married to a wonderful man! I can't imagine being with anyone else! I have finally had the opportunity to figure out "what I want to be when I grow up" and I'm pursuing it with the loving support and encouragement of my husband and family! AND most importantly, I have finally had the opportunity to live my life in a way that frees my heart, mind, and soul to be anything that God needs/wants me to be! I'm not saying that my daily life is a bed of roses and I haven't turned into a granola crunchin', yoga doin', "free minded", artist. I'm just saying that I know the difference between being happy and joyous! Happy still comes and goes, but I have achieved a peace and a joy that I honestly NEVER thought possible!
The secret? I'm not even sure! I guess I kind of really (after years of telling/ trying to convince myself) finally quit caring what people thought and focusing more on what God wanted from me. Then I realised what great freedom this gave me and continued on to become the person that I feel God would be pleased to bless and help. It's like I've just come alive! I suddenly want to see and experience everything! You know this is really something coming from someone who used to take forever to decide what to order to eat and then get the same thing every time to keep from having to choose and to keep from having to try something new!
Don't get me wrong, I still wish I could make myself get in a better exercise and eating habit, and my face still breaks out WAY more often than I would like but that could come with some work and time! (Don't hold your breath!) I don't want to sound strange or make you think I've gone off the deep end. It's nothing like that at all! I've just been revelling in this amazing peace and wanted/needed to share!
I'm sure you've noticed that I changed the music yet again. I still love the other song, and if you liked it better, you can simply scroll down and select any of the four songs listed. In the meantime, let me tell you a little about this song and my life lately.
I Hope You Dance by Lee Ann Womack - For some time now I have really liked this song. It always reminded me of Beck (and all my sisters) because she was the one that was around when I was at that awkward age. She always pushed me out of my comfort zone and "made" me have a good time no matter how awkward and stupid I felt! She didn't push or pull in one direction or the other, but simply supported the current whim - from wanting to be a teacher to my little fling with art! I have always liked this song for these reasons, but just recently when I looked it up on Limewire, I was actually able to hear what the guys were saying in the background and it struck home with where I'm at in life now.
Her backup sings "Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along. Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone." For several weeks now, I have been on a mission to live like/look like/be how I'd want to be remembered.
I don't have to tell any of you about the struggles of overcoming bondage and bitterness in order to live a full and happy life, but I finally feel like I'm making my way on down the road! Most scars never go away, and some wounds take a VERY long time to heal, but I think that bitterness is mostly a choice and I'm not making it!
I guess all this to say that I have finally found my niche to an extent! I'm married to a wonderful man! I can't imagine being with anyone else! I have finally had the opportunity to figure out "what I want to be when I grow up" and I'm pursuing it with the loving support and encouragement of my husband and family! AND most importantly, I have finally had the opportunity to live my life in a way that frees my heart, mind, and soul to be anything that God needs/wants me to be! I'm not saying that my daily life is a bed of roses and I haven't turned into a granola crunchin', yoga doin', "free minded", artist. I'm just saying that I know the difference between being happy and joyous! Happy still comes and goes, but I have achieved a peace and a joy that I honestly NEVER thought possible!
The secret? I'm not even sure! I guess I kind of really (after years of telling/ trying to convince myself) finally quit caring what people thought and focusing more on what God wanted from me. Then I realised what great freedom this gave me and continued on to become the person that I feel God would be pleased to bless and help. It's like I've just come alive! I suddenly want to see and experience everything! You know this is really something coming from someone who used to take forever to decide what to order to eat and then get the same thing every time to keep from having to choose and to keep from having to try something new!
Don't get me wrong, I still wish I could make myself get in a better exercise and eating habit, and my face still breaks out WAY more often than I would like but that could come with some work and time! (Don't hold your breath!) I don't want to sound strange or make you think I've gone off the deep end. It's nothing like that at all! I've just been revelling in this amazing peace and wanted/needed to share!
Comments
Thanks for your comments. They really did make me teary-eyed - in a good way. You've given me new encouragement that maybe I won't be a horrible mom for Kay-Kay.